My mentor told me years ago, in an attempt to encourage me, that sometimes we get to experience what it is to be a prisoner of the Lord.
Ephesians 4.1
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called…
However inadequately I received that exhortation, it remains true that of course Paul the Apostle was actually a prisoner, something I know nothing about. And while some of my fellow American Christians today do know what it’s like to experience what one of my dear friends calls an “adult timeout,” none of us know what it’s like to be a prisoner for our faith. That’s a distinction in which too many parts of the rest of the world are way beyond us.
I know that what my mentor was talking about was more along the lines of joining with the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ, however they come. I used to think that this beautiful suffering was something reserved for those who love Jesus more than any other, that it took years of walking with Him to even work up the awareness to pray to be granted participation in it. I used to think suffering as a “little Christ” was the exclusive territory of the mature believer.
I know very little about suffering, and if you get nothing else out of this blog post, I want you to get this: A lot of us today are way too preoccupied with our wounds. Take it from me. It’s good to heal, and it’s good to deal with what you need to deal with in order to make healing real, but when your woundedness takes over, beware: There is a real danger that it could become all you’re able to see. Trust me, that is a painful place to pass through and much more painful in which to build your life. Worse, if you do linger there, you can become so sick that you become addicted to the pain. That’s much easier done than you might think, especially when your pain is all you know. Sadly, a great many Americans have wagered all they have there, and they sit in the bitter dust of their lives pitying themselves, not knowing that the reason they’re suicidal is because they are the biggest thing in their universe, and that is out of order.
This isn’t a blog post about self-obsession with wounds, and it’s not about suffering for your own evil deeds. That’s not holiness, it’s justice. What I want to address here is what it means to follow Jesus actually, to be set apart for the gospel, and to surrender to the new life in full. I’ve discovered only recently that if we American Christians really knew what we were called into, most of us would want no part of it. Not ever. It’s not just difficult or hard. It’s life-wreckingly impossible, especially the way most of us, including me, have been trying to go about it.
It’s Time for a Gut Check
If you look up the word suffering in a concordance (or search the same word in a digital copy of the Bible), you will quickly discover something alarming: that suffering is cover-to-cover integral to the faith we profess.
Yet it is rarely preached. When we make disciples, we hardly ever make it clear to them that following Jesus is not just difficult or costly in some limited and controllable way, but that the requirement for naming Him as Savior is absolute surrender, full stop.
He isn’t calling us to give only ten percent, to “sacrifice” friendships that could trip us up in our walk, to self-righteously “lay down” something new and nice for something old and worn, to change careers for “the Lord,” or give Him a mere six months of “our lives” on an international mission trip.
Conversely, He isn’t calling us to bliss, happiness, wealth, notoriety, peace, greater enlightenment, the fulfillment of our dreams, comfort, or even freedom from that pesky secret sin that’s been frustrating us for decades—the one we name “unspoken” when small-group prayer requests make their rounds.
He’s calling us to Himself alone, and we prove His call on every part of our very lives in no other way than by walking it out before Him.
The Elements
Most of us who call ourselves disciples of Christ know and could probably agree upon a few foundational elements of our faith.
prayer
the word
evangelism
worship
fellowship
miracles
Most Christians would readily embrace that these tenets are central to the faith, whether or not most of us are actively experiencing all of them. Faith in and practice of these things are what make us Christians.
But few American Christians would readily embrace what I recently read about the underground church in Iraq.
“A believer from a house church in Iran (who can’t be named for obvious reasons) explained that people who want to join the church have to sign a written statement agreeing to lose their property, be thrown in jail, and be martyred for their faith. ”
—Letters to the Church (Francis Chan)
There has been another element missing—at least from my own Christianity—until recently, when I finally realized that when I suffer for the sake of the gospel, it doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong, it means I’m doing it right.
Changing my thinking on this one point has made all the difference. In fact, it could be that this one missing element catalyzes all the others, making them real.
Walking through suffering without understanding means that, as Oswald Chambers said, “you have no power, you can only endure in darkness.” But if we understand that suffering is an integral part of God’s perfect intent and design—and that salvation, the Church, and Christianity itself are not functional without it—we can walk through suffering with joy.
Rejoice
Acts recounts how our early brothers broke out into wild praise when they were beaten and threatened for preaching the gospel. James instructs us that we should, if we’re keeping accounts, firmly pen suffering into the joy column. And Peter even dares to reveal to us that we have been called to it:
1 Peter 2.18-21
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps.
I believe that one of the major reasons I have struggled—and why so many other American Christians struggle too—is because our instructors haven’t been honest with us about the cost of discipleship. Maybe it’s because they’re ignorant of it themselves. And who couldn’t be, at least in America these days? But we have been confusing progress with wisdom for generations now.
Listen: Suffering isn’t a thing we’re supposed to run to, but it’s also not a thing we’re supposed to run from. We ignore and avoid it at our own eternal peril.
Suffering is one of the chief means by which we identify with Jesus Christ. It’s simply how He’s ordered our existence. We prove our love for Him by the things we suffer—and each moment of our suffering is an opportunity for powerful worship from places of great darkness. What could be a better witness for His glory?
As I see it, Christians ought to make a practice of these seven disciplines at all times:
prayer, together and alone
the reading and study of the word, together and alone
the sharing of the gospel with love as the motive
worship, and not just in song
fellowship and dialogue in community, especially over shared meals
a fervent desire to see miracles (God moving in power), and not just for ourselves
we must embrace suffering for joy, to the glory of God
Sometimes, beloved, the last one is first. Sometimes it is all your Lord gives you as your daily bread.
The Ordinary
I wonder if sometimes our whole motivation to “follow hard” after Jesus and “suffer” with Him comes from the fact that we’re just tired of the same old American routines and want proof that we’re alive for more than the purpose of breathing in and out. We eagerly sign on to a mystical, experiential, husked version of the faith, and it is utterly without substance. In fact it’s mostly flesh.
That limited version of Christianity will never carry enough purpose to empower and motivate you to forsake everything, entrusting yourself and all that you think you control to the sweep of the uncrossable, unfathomable river that flows in the endless Kingdom of the gospel.
The other day after my workout, I was trying to learn a few new stretches. I cued up a yoga video in my favorite training app. The content was good, but it struck me how creepy and plastic their smiles were. How obviously thin and fragile their peace was. How manipulative their background music was. It felt eerily similar to most of the Sunday mornings I’ve experienced in America; it reminded me of the system of religion in which I came to know Truth but which Truth promptly nuked (again and again). And therein lies the problem: I find myself eagerly desiring emancipation from dead forms of worship so that I can finally step into the joy of total surrender, yet as I have embraced the wide open possibilities total surrender requires, I have found out here that there is no shield from suffering.
What To Do With this Paradox?
There are deep frustrations in trying to reconcile suffering with purpose unless you know that, once you get your mind right, you can rejoice all through it. Frankly, that’s the only way you’re going to make it. As I begin to release God, others, and myself from all expectation, and as I finally abandon the last vestige of the dead shores of religion, I wonder in quiet moments if I ever have in fact been a Christian until recently. It feels very similar to the difference I felt about a year after my confession of faith, the day I was finally water baptized. As it was then, now it is also. Something both invisible and significant has shifted.
I remember the story of how one morning Keith Green, at that point already a famous Christian musician, came roaring through his let’s-do-life-in-community house at sunrise, waking everyone by shouting, “I just got saved!” He had been a Christian for years at that point. But he had sensed that he was still missing something and had spent the previous few nights in their VW microbus in the driveway, fasting and praying for God to reveal more. God gave it to him because He is faithful. And everyone thought Keith was nuts.
Let me tell you, if you’re going to walk with Jesus in places where He’s all you have, you’re going to need something supernatural to sustain you, something that goes well beyond ritual, rules, and tradition—no matter how ancient or trendy. You’re going to need to know that God isn’t angry with you or disappointed with you when suffering comes, especially when everything you’re doing is a genuine effort to follow Him. If you know that suffering is part of the program—and that it always has been—you may save yourself a whole lot of grief. Trust me, it’s far better to reckon with these hard realities up front than it is to put them off for later, and I believe we ought to make it clear to those whom we are trying to win that life with Jesus isn’t easier but harder. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how it has been designed. Often, we’re not calling the lost into anything that’s remotely true.
Therefore it is impossible to set out on the way, no matter how much suffering there is or isn’t, for any other reason than love. Now do you see how wise God is?
But let me tell you what it’s like when you get it wrong. Maybe my own story will help someone.
How-To
Wouldn’t it be grand if all the difficult parts of life came with a point-by-point syllabus of clear learning objectives? That’s what it was like when I was in the Marines. Every class I attended at the School of Infantry featured learning objectives. Usually, these consisted of three or four bullet points telling us up front what we were supposed to learn in that class. As we went through the material, it became really clear what we were supposed to retain, and at the end of the class, we would review the learning objectives to ensure that we understood what we had just learned.
The technique was like, “Hey, gents, this is what you’re gonna learn. This is what you’re now learning. This is what you just learned. So, gents, what did you learn?”
It was kind of impossible not to give the instructor what he was looking for.
It was a bit heavy-handed, in retrospect, but you know how our rearview mirrors go all rose-tinted on us sometimes. Whenever things feel like they’re getting chaotic, most people are willing to start surrendering important things in exchange for a little order. I never liked hands-on leadership. I prefer to call it micromanagement anyway. As much as I dislike it, though, there are times when I wish God would, just once, be a little more hands-on. Or at least give me a how-to. That’s me surrendering the important stuff for a little order. If you’re competently reading between the lines, you can see that I really mean that I just want things my way, and I want them my way right now. And that right there is why the American Church is dying—because we’re no different from the lost and hopeless. If only we could embrace the suffering we’ve been called to, and not for obligation but for love!
But back to my heading. What I wanted more than anything when we were moving across the country was a how-to. I wanted someone, anyone, to tell me or show me how to follow God into new places. I wanted to know: what is the method, and what are the procedures? These and many more questions burned hot in my mind as we came across the country from Idaho to Tennessee. I proceeded by faith, but my faith was weak sauce because it wasn’t ready to suffer and count it all joy.
I wanted to know about efficiency. I wanted to minimize pain points (suffering). I was interested in speed, and I wanted to get to work without delay—that special work God had called me to. Boy howdy, was I in a hurry.
Interestingly enough, work certainly has been going on. It’s just not the kind of work I thought I would be up to, or which was most urgent or even necessary. As Chambers once pointed out, God isn’t making “such a wonderful man of me” but instead revealing His Son in me, and the difference between those two outcomes could not be greater. How is it that our priorities as His followers are so out of step so often? But He gives more grace.
Allow me to share a few honest moments from my journal.
Where to begin?
There is nothing you can do to speed it up or make it more efficient. You are a passenger in the arms of grace. Stop chasing stuff that doesn’t matter and which you can’t have anyway. Did you come all this way to prove your worthiness? If so, you’re wrong. And don’t try to outlast God—you’ll lose. There is peace in release, but you’re going to have to let go of really precious stuff; even good stuff like a place and provision, and just trust God for literally everything. And it will hurt. It will be scary. You’ll lose sleep. Things will get financially ridiculous. You’ll have to ask for help. You will be needy. You will feel like God brought you all this way to die. You will want to turn back. You will yearn for the old ways and not be able to walk in them. There will be doors that seem to open but then suddenly slam shut in your face. You will want comfort that will be denied you. And when you pray and lay out legitimate needs before the Father, the answer will be, “No,” and you’ll have to figure things out from there.
Nothing you had believed God for—those hopes that fueled your journey from there to here—will come to pass. Instead you will be left with cold, impenetrable want, unanswered questions, and an unsatiated hunger for good things that—though you don’t understand why right now—would probably ultimately destroy you if God gave them to you right now.
You will have to walk out trust like you never have. You will have to labor in obscurity and futility and have no idea where the finish line is while you do it. You will have to engage the daily disciplines you know are eternally profitable, plus whatever work God has put into your hand to supply your daily bread. This daily work might not have anything to do with the vision you’ve been given, and you may not even see a connection from that work to how on earth it makes any sense to be doing it other than to keep you and your people fed and housed. This work will often feel revolting because of how unspiritual it is; how rational and practical it is, and how futile and worthless it seems to be.
You will feel useless and cursed. You will feel cast aside and abandoned. You will feel forgotten. You will often wonder why you had to come such a great distance to simply work a job you could have worked wherever you were before, where it was more comfortable and made more sense logistically. You will say, “I didn’t take this great step of faith to do what I could have done anywhere else.” You will have to engage the daily disciplines of prayer and the word and worship even when you’re unsure how to do so or what it could mean because your pain and confusion looms so large in your life. You will have to do them when it is inconvenient and seemingly pointless. Yet there will be nothing else for you to do, so you will do them or go mad because of the pressure. You will feel like an idiot and a fool, and you will have to be very careful about making it your business what other people think of you. You will have to keep one foot in front of the other day after day, keep your head down in your harness, and pull because it is your lot for now, and there is no other way.
The work you do by faith is going to have to ruthlessly allow only the kind of faith that has no object but Jesus Christ. Your faith can be placed in no other hope; He will cut all the strings from it. You will be forced to release all ulterior motives from your service to Christ. You will be brought to the place where all that you find yourself doing can only be done for love. And you will learn the power of praise in difficult places. Most important here is learning how to endure. Accept that this may be how the rest of your life will be spent if that is the Lord’s good pleasure for you. He has enough vessels coming to Him trying to tell Him how to shape them. Don’t be anther one of those. You’re not the first to come to the end of yourself. You certainly won’t be the last.
You wanted to know what it was to be identified with Christ. Welcome to it. You cannot unsee it now, you cannot undo it now; it is done.
Notably missing from this journal excerpt is hope. But I have found it now, and I want to share it with you.
Hope
I wrote a poem a long time ago that had one line that’s coming back around to me now with much greater meaning.
In Christ, your pain has a point now.
I had very little understanding about the depth of meaning those words could carry until recently.
Your pain has a point because suffering for the gospel identifies you with Jesus Christ. It provides a witness to the truth of the gospel, it inspires others, and it transforms you into who you were called to become. It also separates you from the world, reminds you that you are not of it, and moves the heart of God in your favor. Most importantly, when endured, it proves that love is your motive.
Want cover-to-cover proof? Read on.
Genesis 41.52
And the name of the second he called Ephraim: “For God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”
Exodus 3.7
And the Lord said: “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows [pain].
2 Kings 14.26-27
For the Lord saw that the affliction of Israel was very bitter; and whether bond or free, there was no helper for Israel. And the Lord did not say that He would blot out the name of Israel from under heaven; but He saved them…
Nehemiah 9.9-10
You saw the affliction of our fathers in Egypt, And heard their cry by the Red Sea. You showed signs and wonders against Pharaoh, Against all his servants, And against all the people of his land. For You knew that they acted proudly against them. So You made a name for Yourself, as it is this day.
Job 36.15
He delivers the poor in their affliction, And opens their ears in oppression.
Psalm 22.24
For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; Nor has He hidden His face from Him; But when He cried to Him, He heard.
Psalm 119.50
This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life.
Psalm 119.153
Consider my affliction and deliver me, For I do not forget Your law.
Isaiah 53.3
He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…
Matthew 10.24-39
A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household! Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to “set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law”; and “a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matthew 16.21-27
From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.
Luke 14.11
For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
Luke 14.25-33
Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, “This man began to build and was not able to finish”? Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.
Luke 17.33
Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.
John 12.24-26
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.
John 15.18-21
If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, “A servant is not greater than his master.” If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me.
Acts 1.1-3
The former account I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach, until the day in which He was taken up, after He through the Holy Spirit had given commandments to the apostles whom He had chosen, to whom He also presented Himself alive after His suffering by many infallible proofs, being seen by them during forty days and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God.
Acts 5.40-42
And they agreed with him, and when they had called for the apostles and beaten them, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.
Romans 5.1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
2 Thessalonians 1.3-5
We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly, and the love of every one of you all abounds toward each other, so that we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that you endure, which is manifest evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you also suffer.
2 Timothy 1.8-12
Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began, but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, to which I was appointed a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles. For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.
2 Timothy 2.9
Remember that Jesus Christ, of the seed of David, was raised from the dead according to my gospel, for which I suffer trouble as an evildoer, even to the point of chains; but the word of God is not chained.
Hebrews 2.10-11
For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For both He who sanctifies and those who are being sanctified are all of one…
Hebrews 10-32-36
But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven. Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.
Hebrews 13.3
Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also.
1 Peter 2.19-21
For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps.
1 Peter 4.1-2
Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.
1 Peter 4.12-16
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter.
Revelation 1.9
I, John, both your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.
Suffering is vital
If we’re not subject to it—if we haven’t reckoned with the reality of it and submitted to God’s will for us specifically in regard to this, we really don’t know much about what it is to be a Christian. And our faith is dead.
Suffering is not just a thing for missionaries to experience once in their young lives, or a thing those “living on support” have to endure because they’re somehow exceptional or called to something most Christians aren’t called to. No, suffering is in fact central to what it means to belong to Jesus, and if you’re experiencing pain as a result of offering Him obedience to His call, you are doing it well. Don’t take it as a rebuke but as encouragement. The best and truest compliment a child can give their father is when they imitate him. So be it with us.
If you’re sensitive to His call on your life, and if you choose to obey that call and follow Him without reserve, suffering is going to be a part of your walk, I promise you. When you get there, remember this one thing: It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing it right.
All scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright (c) 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.